Just Being “Dad” Isn’t Good Enough

As an ode to dads this Father’s Day, Memphis Moms Blog has asked some of our contributors’ baby-daddies to step in and write for us. They were given no direction–just to write about whatever they felt needed to be said.

This morning’s post is from Danny. Danny is husband to Memphis Mom’s Blog owner and founder, Lindsay (and probably one of our biggest cheerleaders!)…

You are a good dad. 

You work hard for your kids… help provide for them, put food on the table, and put a shelter over their heads.  You teach them to be strong when hurt, to not cry over small stuff, and to keep calm in stressful situations.  You are the protector.  You teach them to push their limits, and to always get up when knocked down.  You tell them to never give up.

You are a good dad.

But good isn’t good enough.  The classic patriarchal mindset of fatherhood isn’t good enough.  Just being Dad isn’t good enough.

You also have to be a best friend.

I promise to not only work hard for my kids, but as a best friend, I will show them what hard work means.  I will not allow my job to separate us, but instead bring us together.  I will show them the importance of hard work, and why there is food on the table and shelter over our heads.  I will show them my passion and life’s work, and whether or not they follow in my footsteps, as a best friend I will be proud of them.

I promise to not just teach them to be strong when hurt, but as a best friend, show them that we all have weaknesses.  I will listen if something is bothering them, be a shoulder to cry on, or help mend a painful wound.  I will remain calm under stress, and do so while holding their hand.  As a best friend, if they are hurt I will hurt with them.

I promise to protect my kids, but as a best friend, give them the freedom to make their own choices.  I will allow them to make mistakes, as I have done in my life.  I will be there to help them learn to fix those mistakes, and as a best friend I will do so without judgment.

I promise to push my kids to their limits to show them what they are capable up, but as a best friend, understand that their limits are not my own.  I will respect them if they need more time, or aren’t comfortable, or wish to stop.  As a best friend, I will be their ally.

I promise to show them why it’s important to never give up, but as a best friend, I will encourage them and guide them all the way to the finish line.

I promise to not only be a good dad, but to be a best friend.