I Don’t Like Asking For Help. There, I Said It.

Moms! Why is it so hard for some of us to admit we need a break? Or even a little bit of help?

Momming is tough, whether single or married.

I mean, we have little people, and sometimes even big people, that are looking to us for guidance, a meal, a ride to the mall, practice, or games.  For moms with kids in school or daycare, our kid may get sick and need to be taken care of. If you don’t have family or a spouse that can do that, then what?!

I have been in situations like that so many times. But I don’t. like. asking. for. help. There, I said it.

To some it may seem like a pride issue, but for me I feel like I’m being a burden. Obviously I’m a single mom (and have been for years now.) I know I chose to become an adoptive (and former foster) parent…as a single mom. So what do I look like “asking for help.”  I’m in this “situation” because of choices I’ve made.

How many have felt that way?  We know why we’re in the situation, so we just have to make the best of it — regardless of how hard it is or how tired we truly are.

Do I have friends willing to help? Of course, I do.

Do I think they’re sincere when saying “let me know if you need anything?” Of course, I do.

Then why don’t I call them?  Well, let’s just go ahead and say a little bit of pride and a whole lot of feeling like a burden.  Face it, everyone is busy, regardless of the stage of life they’re in right now.  We are all being pulled thin in different directions. It may just be on a different day and look different.  That doesn’t mean we don’t need each other. We need each other now more than ever.  Embrace and be thankful for the support you have. If you don’t have support, find it. There are many churches and several groups you can get plugged into to find connections.

Think about it — when someone asks you, “Hey can you pick up so and so for me today,” you do. You make it happen if you can. You don’t instantly think “Man, they’re a burden!” Don’t feel like you’re a burden if you need to ask for help — you’re not! If a friend offers help, be grateful for that help and return the favor when you can. Honestly, if you have a friend keeping score every time they help you out, then you may want to question that friendship, just saying. When you feel tired, which we all do, reach out to your support. That’s why they are there.  Don’t feel less than or weak.

I am learning that not asking for help or not accepting the offered help/break is what can make you burnt out and more stressful.  More bitter. More resentful. We can be stronger moms by asking for help. We can be stronger moms by getting a break. So let’s take it and enjoy it — because, let’s face it; tomorrow we’ll be right back at it!