Video Game Addiction
My middle son was in first and second grade during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. We had a lot of at home time in a neighborhood we had only recently moved to and didn’t know a ton of people. So we ended up getting him a Nintendo Switch for his birthday that year. We also got him some very family-friendly games and hoped that the Switch would become something we could do as a family on rainy days or during online school breaks.
But my son also has a bit of an addictive personality. He’s got ADHD, and hyper-fixation often goes hand-in-hand with that diagnosis. And he quickly became very fixated on the Switch. He was sneaking into our room at night to get it, hiding it away in different spots is his room, and throwing huge tantrums when it was time to stop playing. Finally, we just took it away completely.
That was YEARS ago. We are still navigating the rules and boundaries around video games usage (he still doesn’t have a phone and his access to screens in general is EXTREMELY limited). I can see this being an issue for him in the future and I want to do everything I can now to limit issues down the line!
What is Video Game Addiction?
According to the Cleveland Clinic, video game addiction (also referred to as internet gaming disorder) is a condition characterized by severely reduced control over gaming habits, resulting in negative consequences in many aspects of your life, including self-care, relationships, school and work.
There are several signs and symptoms that video game play has become an addiction. These include:
- Poor performance at school as a result of excessive video game playing.
- Withdrawal symptoms, such as sadness, anxiety or irritability, when games are taken away or gaming isn’t possible.
- A need to spend more and more time playing video games to get the same level of enjoyment.
- Giving up other previously enjoyed activities and/or social relationships due to gaming.
- Being unable to reduce playing time and having unsuccessful attempts to quit gaming, despite the negative consequences it’s causing.
- Lying to family members or others about the amount of time spent playing video games.
- A decline in personal hygiene or grooming due to excessive video gaming.
- Using video games as a way to escape stressful situations at school or to avoid conflicts at home.
I was definitely seeing early signs of video game addiction when my son was only 8 or 9. But learning more about video game addition has made me realize that this isn’t a parenting issue. This is a public health issue. Video game companies purposefully make video games addictive and use psychological tactics to keep kids playing and coming back more and more. There are now lawsuits against video game manufacturers and reading the lawsuits read like something out of a horror novel. The defendants have known FOR NEARLY TWO DECADES that science has shown that prolonged use of video games in minors can result in brain damage, cognitive decline and physical and emotional deficits.
They KNEW.
They knew and they still marketed their games to minors without implementing basic safety features – such as adequate parent controls, warnings, or opt-in limits on the time minors can spend in the game.
What should you do?
We asked Jarrod Hoffman, a local counselor, for some tips when setting boundaries around video game usage and boundaries for families.
“Here are two questions to consider when thinking about your kids and video game boundaries:
- Are your boundaries around video game usage rooted in connection?
- Are you requiring behavior before rewards?
Here is the problem on boundaries and healthy gaming habits: Your kids have access to Vegas Casinos on steroids, both on consoles and especially mobile gaming. Thinking that your time-centered boundaries will be enough to fix it is like thinking the sand castle wall you built will keep the ocean tide from coming in. Addictive habits are fixed through connection. Whichever rules and boundaries you make should be rooted in real-time, embodied, family connections. It will require your presence, too. Play video games together. Read books together. Put phones away. Laugh together. Be bored together. Be angry together. Do whatever it takes to connect.
As far as the timing of video games as a reward, we have the order reversed. Do X, THEN get video games. We do the opposite. Here is my phone while we’re in the waiting room, please be quiet. Play games, then do chores. The reward should come AFTER the requested behavior: sit in the waiting room quietly, and THEN get the phone. It’s hard because you have to deal with the fallout if they freak out. But the reward given before the behavior will make the eventual fallout ten times worse. Then be consistent. Children and teens need consistency. Addicted children and teens need it more.”
If you are seeing the signs of video game addiction in your kids, you are not alone, and there is something you can do. There is currently a lawsuit for families impacted by video game addiction. Click here to learn more and see if you qualify.
Disclaimer: This sponsored post is paid advertising by Hilliard Law, 719 S. Shoreline Blvd, Corpus Christi, 78401. All opinions are the authors.
A dad of one adorable baby, Jarrod Hoffman worked in youth ministry before making the transition to counseling. Jarrod talks openly about his parents divorcing at age 10 and seeing porn for the first time at age 11. It wasn’t until 25 that he experienced healing through counseling. Using his own personal experience as a launching point, his passion is helping children and adolescents overcome challenging life circumstances. Jarrod specializes in guiding young adults to find purpose and fulfillment in relationships, career, and calling, and supporting those in recovery. His counseling concentrations include depression, anxiety, sexual addiction, adolescents, and those with autism.
