7 Tips, Tricks, and Toys for Enjoying Postpartum Sex
As moms, especially new moms, we’ve all felt the pressure from ourselves or even our partners to jump right back into postpartum sex once we’re cleared by our doctor. And, understandingly, we may be a bit hesitant.
I mean, think about it. You just endured ten months of pregnancy, and then suddenly your bundle has made their way into the world via your vagina or abdomen, likely resulting in some tearing or stitches. And then, in a blink, you’re back in your doctor’s office for your 6-week postpartum checkup. And the main question everyone wants answered these 42 days after birthing a child … Can I have sex now?
And by everyone, I mean our partners (mostly). Many women experience a surge in their sex drive during the third trimester — presumably because they felt so awful the first and maybe even second trimesters, and because they’re willing to do anything to get that baby out the quicker they approach Week 40. So, in defense of our significant others, they may have been a bit spoiled before being completely cut off cold turkey.
Sometimes, sex — especially penetrative sex, aka intercourse — isn’t appealing for expecting or postpartum mamas. And that’s understandable, considering what we’re going through or just went through, and how we’re feeling in those weeks after baby was born. (I’m talking to you engorged breasts, chapped nipples, sore back, and our seemingly chronically bleeding wombs, not to mention postpartum mental health.)
However, sex is a common crutch for people and couples to lean on when they’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, exhausted (yet unable to sleep), and emotionally vulnerable — all common symptoms of the postpartum period, especially for inexperienced new parents.
We’ve pulled together 7 sex toys and tactics that are useful at any stage of life, but especially in that fragile postpartum period when you may not want the usual (if you know what I mean). Some of these include clitoris stimulators, feathers, magic wands, and lingerie. (Are you hooked yet? *insert seductively winking emoji*)
Check them out below!
Disclaimer: Never feel pressured into having sex when you don’t want to, whether it’s before the 6-week mark or after, with your spouse or someone else, or at any point in your life. It’s your body and your choice.
Satisfyer Pro 2 – Next Generation
Clitoral stimulation is crucial for most women to orgasm. Studies have even shown that around 75% of people with vulvas need this type of external stimulation to reach orgasm. But your typical dildo or penetration-focused vibrator may not be as gentle as your like, especially when your postpartum and that entire region of your body is sensitive. The Satisfyer Pro 2 – Next Generation vibrator from Adam & Eve is a great option because it creates a sucking sensation and focuses exclusively on the clitoris. Because this area of women’s bodies is super sensitive anyway, especially after giving birth and while breastfeeding, you may want to use lubricant so it’s not painful or overstimulated.
Clocking in at less than $50, this sex toy is budget-friendly, yet still high-quality, making it one of the best, female-focused sex toys on the market. It’s rechargeable, waterproof (hello solo bath time), and provides a suction feeling that mimics oral sex for up to two hours. If you’re on a budget or new to the world of suction vibrators, this is a wise option. Plus, it’s fun to use with partners, too, especially when it’s cold and people’s hands are dry. If you love the toy (and trust us, you will), consider trying other suction toys like the Womanizer Classic which has more fun features like suction and vibration or even the even more intense (in the best way) Lelo Sona 2 Cruise.
Magic Wand
The Magic Wand from Babeland is a classic sex toy that’s perfect for anyone at any stage of their sexual life experience, but especially new and expecting moms. It’s meant to be used as an external vibrator, but it doubles as a muscle massager so you can show every part of your body some much-needed TLC. This comes in handy for pregnant mamas who are exploring their new sensitive areas, so it may feel especially nice on your nipples, upper thighs, or behind your knee. (Trust us with that last one!)
The Magic Wand is priced at $62.96 and plugs into the wall, which means it can be as powerful as you like. If you prefer your toys wireless, try the hands-free version. This is also a fun vibrator to use with partners.
Fun Factory Bootie Plug
OK, let’s be real. The chances of you being in a long-term relationship and not exploring fun nook and crannies beyond your mouth and vagina are slim. And that’s perfectly normal! In fact, men are typically more inclined to want to explore anal pleasure, both giving and receiving it (aka prostate play). Plus, this hands-free toy comes in handy during the late stages of pregnancy when you’re not as mobile as you were prior, as well as postpartum when you may want to explore non-vaginal options. That’s why the Bootie from Fun Factory is a fun option — both partners can enjoy it!
Priced at $45 on Amazon, the Bootie comes in three sizes and is made from medical-grade silicone. Anal sex is taboo, but the fact is that many people derive satisfaction from exploring this part of their bodies and their partners’ bodies. Don’t knock it till you try it! And the Bootie is a great option for easing into this whole new world of pleasure.
A Sex Journal
We know, we know … A journal? Really? But trust us here. This little grey book could be the most powerful postpartum sex toy in your arsenal.
Communication is key to intimacy, especially for couples who have been together for a while or who are embarking on the journey to parenthood. A Sex Journal like this cute one from Urban Outfitters prompts you and your partner to set intentions, which will undoubtedly strengthen your sexual relationship. Log what you enjoyed, what you didn’t, what puts you in the mood, things you’d like to try, anything that brings you sexual satisfaction and makes you feel closer and more intimate with your partner. Plus, it’s a fun form of foreplay, like a secret sex diary for your and your lover’s eyes only.
You could buy the one we pictured, or you could even just buy a $0.50 notebook on your next Target run and it will accomplish the same outcome, while being a bit more discreet.
Pillo (Pillow for Sex)
Feather Ticklers and Blindfolds
Eliminating certain physical senses heightens others, especially for pregnant and newly postpartum moms when their bodies feel electrically charged almost all of the time. That’s why we love toys like the often underestimated feather tickler and blindfold. They’re not penatrative and don’t require any batteries or charging time. They’re simple and effective.
If you want to broaden your sexual horizons without diving headfirst into a world of vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs, this is a great option. Amazon has a lot of choices, but we recommend doubling up with a feather tickler and blindfold. Maybe even a scarf or some handcuffs to keep yourself or your partner exactly where you want. Then, have them gently brush your nipples, legs, belly, sides, toes, and lips with the feather, all while you’re blindfolded. And thank us later.
Lingerie
Never underestimate the power of a new sexy outfit to instantly boost your confidence and take your postpartum sex life to new heights. Sometimes all you need is some new lingerie. This is a budget-friendly option, and less intimidating than jumping straight into sex toys if you and your partner want to take things slow. For Memphis Mamas, there a lot of local options in the Bluff City, like Coco and Lola’s and A Fitting Place.
