Mom Amnesia

Y’all, Mom Amnesia is totally a thing. My husband (he’s a doctor, so he went to medial school and “knows things”) claims it’s not a real disease. But it totally is.

If you have any of the following symptoms (although this list is not exclusive), you too may have Mom Amnesia:

Forgetting why you called your significant other after only two rings
Going to Target for one thing, leaving with $100 worth of stuff, and remembering in the parking lot that you didn’t get what you came for
Buying your kids the same article of clothing more than once (see above)
Searching all over the house for a pacifier, and then realizing there’s one in your hand
Remembering at 4:00 in the afternoon that you’re responsible for dinner
Putting dinner in the crockpot in the morning on your way to work but forgetting to turn it on
Adding things to your online cart and then forgetting to check out
Calling your kids by the wrong name (you know you’re in deep when it’s a pet’s name)

The worst part of mom amnesia? It gets progressively worse with each kid. I’m on kid number three, and sometimes I almost forget she’s there.

One time, when she was about a month old, I picked up my two boys from school in the afternoon. I got everyone and all their backpacks/lunchboxes/school projects/etc., into the house and left the baby sleeping in her carseat in the kitchen. I got all of the backpacks unpacked, the dirty bottles and lunch containers rinsed out and in the dishwasher, and the coats put up in the closet. My oldest son has special needs and is tube fed on a schedule. I got him fed, and then we did his homework. All while my younger son is complaining that I won’t let him watch a show, go out front by himself to swing, or eat a snack. Finally, I convinced him to color. So he got out every coloring book, crayon, and marker that we owned. Then promptly got bored.