Our Grandparents Are Disappearing
The latest U.S. Census Bureau figures show that the median age for first-time mothers in the United States is now 30. This average age is rising – and rising really quickly – considering some research listed the average as low as 23 in 1994. That was not that long ago. And while 30 is definitely not old, it’s a lot older than 23.
But I’m not here to talk about moms. What’s really been on my mind lately is grandparents … or lack thereof. I personally am one of those older moms. I was 38 and 40 when I had my two children, and I am telling you the truth when I say that my husband and I feel it in more ways than one. Toddlers have A LOT of energy!
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. Things turned out the way they did, and we are all fine with it. We got two beautiful children right when we were supposed to. And they are perfect.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t notice some of the things that come along with “geriatric” parenting. And one of them that I’ve been thinking a lot about is the fact that grandparents seem to be disappearing. Becoming parents at a later age inherently means that our parents are also older. And the sad truth about being older parents is that we will naturally have less time with our children – and our parents, their grandparents – will have even less time than that.
Many of us remember having four grandparents: our mom’s parents and our dad’s parents. And perhaps because of divorce and remarriage, we had eight grandparents – two sets on each side. Of course, every family is different for a multitude of reasons, but because of death, divorce, and illness, my children have two involved grandparents.
We have two awesome, very involved grandmothers, and I am very grateful for that. However, I can’t help but think about how this is becoming the norm for us older parents. When people wait to have children until later in life, like we did, it produces a distinct ripple, affecting all areas of the family unit.
And here’s the bad news. There’s really nothing we can do about it. I can’t go back in time and have my children earlier. It is what it is. I wonder often what it would have been like for my sons to have relationships with their grandfathers – but that is just something that will have to live in my dreams.
In the meantime, we will continue to love life with the grandparents we do have. We will relish every minute of it and hope we have many more of them. And I will make every effort to tell them stories about the grandparents who are no longer here to help keep their memory alive… before they completely disappear altogether.
