Saying NO is hard to do

Saying no is so hard for me.

Sometimes, when the request isn’t something bad, it’s especially hard to say no.  

I want to come through and I want to help where I’m needed — but in this season I need to say no and learn be okay with it. I feel so overwhelmed right now. This kid needs this, this kid needs that. I have appointments, some twice a week over the next 3 consecutive weeks.

I’m tired.

Drained.

Done. 

I have to have this kid at practice and this kid at rehearsal.  I’m needed in this area and that one. I’m grateful to be needed, but now I need a break. 

I NEED A BREAK!

I feel bad for saying no and/or changing what I’ve been committed to for so long, because I know others have depended on me, but what I need to admit and what I need them to understand is that right now, I am stressed out. Yes, I know it’s my fault for over scheduling or over committing, but again, it’s just not easy for me to say no.

I am trying to fix that. 

I don’t like how I feel right now. I don’t like how irritable I am. I don’t like my attitude right now. The result is me lashing out at someone who doesn’t deserve it; usually one of my kiddos that have no clue what’s going on. I hate that in this season, it’s been hard to talk about something without crying. A friend noticed and mentioned to me that I need to take a step away from things, but she reminded me, “Sabrina, there are others that can be asked; let them step up this time.” That’s not easy for me to swallow either. 

My oldest son recently decided he really doesn’t want to play his sport anymore. At first I took it personally: I’ve already paid for it,  he’s part of a team, and I feel he’s good at it.  Said friend, however, reminded me that if he’s tired, you need to let him take a break. I know it will benefit us both: one less practice, one less game, one less item on our already busy schedule. 

So why is it hard for me to say no or say I need a break? 

Because I feel like a failure.

A quitter.

I’m trying to look at it from a different perspective now; what if saying no is actually saving my sanity?

Putting peace back in my home?

Motivation on my job?

Laughter again with my kiddos?

I know all the things causing me stress, what can it hurt to say no or take a break? What’s wrong with putting my family first, me first, our home first?  I need to take care of what truly needs to be taken care of within our family unit and put the rest on the back burner, at least for now.  Analyze what’s truly needed and let go of what can wait, pick it back up later or choose to let it go for good.  Either way, my life needs to be de-cluttered and I need to be okay with the process.