It's that time of year again. The time when anarchy rules and moms across the United States curse the gods of time.
Daylight Saving Time, that is.
She washes in like a tidal wave every spring and fall. We forget she's coming and what's she's capable of, until she's on top of us, then washing out just as quickly as she came, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. Screaming toddlers, drowsy carpools, and 3 or 4 am wakeup calls from a child's face peering over the side of your bed all suck an hour of your life away and the world expects you to keep on, keepin' on like normal.
It's a world out to get us, it seems.
Apparently, Daylight Saving Times serves a purpose for people who - clearly - do not have young children. So I decided it was time to take a look at the bright side and be grateful for what she has to offer us, just like they do. (Whoever "they" is ...)
So here is list of thank yous addressed to our frenemy, Daylight Saving Time, for all she does for us.
Thank you Daylight Saving Time for finally fixing the clock in my car.
Sincerely, How Many Seconds Am I Supposed to Hold this Button.
Thank you Daylight Saving Time for forcing me to be stuck in ancient times and know how to adjust clocks.
Sincerely, Apple Does Everything For Me
Thank you Daylight Saving Time for making me bribe my kids to go to bed while it's still daylight.
Sincerely, We Can Have Ice Cream for Breakfast if you WILL JUST GO TO BED
Thank you Daylight Saving Time for making our already dysfunctional morning routines turn into the zombie apocalypse.
Sincerely, The Walking Dead
Thank You Daylight Saving Time for always assuring I am either an hour late or early to church on Sunday.
Sincerely, I Vote for Friday DLS
Thank you Daylight Saving Time for removing the hour in the day I planned to work out.
Sincerely, I Wasn't Going Anyway
Thank you Daylight Saving Time for adding an hour for me to drink another glass of wine.
Thank You Daylight Saving Time for nothing.
Sincerely, All the Moms.