Thriving in the Chaos: A Mom’s Guide to Navigating Competitive Youth Sports
When I was growing up, being considered a good athlete meant playing for your school’s team. Today, the game has changed. Competitive travel youth sports clubs of all kinds have taken over with extravagant destination tournaments, championship rings, and gear that kids can’t get enough of. Much like parenting, seasoned sports moms will offer plenty of advice, but you don’t truly understand the world of competitive youth sports until you’re in it. I still remember my shock when I was asked to pay admission to watch my own child play in his first tournament!
Even with all its demands, being a sports mama is one of the roles I treasure most. From its challenges to triumphs, here’s what I’ve learned thus far as a former athlete, baseball mom, coach’s wife, and mental health therapist:
1. Sideline Shouters: Its easy to overdo it. Believe me, I’ve been there, as I can be extremely competitive. But being enthusiastic, cheering on your child, offering encouragement, and showing your child support will always win in the end. And for the love of all things youth sports, do not yell at another child or teammate for their mistakes. Even though it may be difficult at times, leave the coaching to the coaches and keep the hollering positive. Nothing beats a parent who supportively cheers for every child on the team, no matter their ability.
2. Snacks are gold: Pack snacks—then pack more. Strangers’ kids will suddenly need snacks, and your child will raid your friend’s bag without thinking twice. Hungry kids (including siblings) at the field are never fun, and a little cash for a snow cone can save the day!
3. Find your mom tribe: The friendships I’ve made with other youth sports moms are irreplaceable. Whether it’s carpooling, helping with younger siblings, or sharing a laugh after games, this community has been my lifeline. On the days when I’m exhausted and don’t want to be on the field, these friendships keep me going.
4. Drama is real—and it’s from the parents: Let’s be honest, the drama is everywhere in youth sports, and it’s rarely the kids. Parents have strong opinions, and tempers can flare in a competitive environment. My suggestion? Stay out of it, stay kind, and focus on supporting your child. The parent drama isn’t worth it.
5. Be compassionate to your child—especially when they make mistakes: We all want our kids to succeed, but research shows it’s not talent or performance that keeps them playing; it’s their love for the game. I’ve seen parents unintentionally drain the joy from their kids by trying to vicariously live through them, constantly criticizing their mistakes. I want my son to know I love him for who he is, not what he can do. And remember, your child will flourish if they’re having fun, and if the lifestyle is not serving you or your child, you have the power to decide both how and when to pivot.
My golden rule: As ridiculous as the sliding mitts may seem (baseball moms, you know what I mean!), and as expensive and time-consuming as this lifestyle can be, if my son loves the game, I’m all in.
Through baseball, I’ve seen him grow emotionally, mentally, and physically. He’s learned sportsmanship, accountability, leadership skills, and made lifelong friendships along the way. He’s embraced grit, growth, and grace, and through these experiences, he’s evolving into a more compassionate and resilient individual. Most of all, I love the pure joy on his face when he’s playing a game he truly loves. Being a youth sports mama is not easy but as long as my child is thriving, I’m here for it.
