No More Napping? No Big Deal
The day I’d been dreading has finally arrived…and the funny thing is, I couldn’t tell you exactly when it occurred.
My three-year-old no longer takes naps.
Don’t get me wrong, he definitely still needs them. Since giving up napping, he’s fallen asleep in a variety of places, such as the car, the back of a bike, and even on the toilet. (I’m not sure how he pulled off that one.) As far as I know, he’ll still lay down and sleep on his preschool days as well. But gone are the days of the dedicated two-hour nap in a bed.
Gone also are my glorious afternoon respites when I could take care of household chores, work on personal projects, or even sit down with a book. However, it’s not been the tragedy I’d feared.
While I counted on those daily breaks, I realize I counted on them a bit too much. A missed nap–or even a too-short one–could derail my entire day and put me in a sour mood. And scheduling activities around naptimes was an extra stress I don’t miss at all.
My relationship with naps is complicated. When my oldest settled into a regular afternoon nap routine around 9-10 months old, I felt as if I’d been given a gift. The opportunity to be myself again for two hours each day was something I didn’t know I so desperately needed. I don’t think I’m overreaching when I say it made me a better mom. I could be more present with my baby when I knew that I would get a break later in the day, and when she woke up, I would also be more refreshed and able to focus on her.
When my second was born, I was relieved that it didn’t take as long for a nap routine to settle in, and for a while, I was even getting those unicorn double naps when both the toddler and the infant would sleep at the same time. It was magical. Since we had a “napping house,” I was still trying (albeit with mixed results) for naps when the oldest was five. We only shifted to quiet time when nap-free kindergarten was on the horizon.
I was pregnant again when my second child was thinking about giving up naps, but I was able to stretch that sacred time a little bit longer by laying down with her in her bed each afternoon. It was a win-win situation because we both needed the rest, and I still look back upon that sweet period with great fondness.
Enter Baby #3. He was a napping champ. My little “corona-baby” became a master of the two-naps-a-day routine. As a result of lockdown, he could sleep whenever and as long as he wanted without having to be woken up for his sisters’ activities. He was living his best baby life.
But all that is in the past. As soon as my youngest moved out of a crib and stopping nursing to sleep , it was all over. I tried in vain, but after several days of him popping out of bed repeatedly, I just quit trying. And it was okay.
Now, it is important to note that my son is pretty good at independent play. He can drive cars and dig in the dirt for long periods of time, which allows me to piddle around the house getting a few things done without having to give him my undivided attention. And while he still needs the rest, there are no epic meltdowns during the witching hour. In fact, I’ve noticed that bedtime is more difficult when he does get some type of daytime sleep.
The real benefits of no more naptime have been revealed this summer, however. When my son stopped napping for real in the spring, it was nice not having to wake him up for school pick-up, but now that everyone is home for the summer, it has been a game changer. There is great freedom in not having to adjust our schedule around when Little Brother may or may not nap. We can go places in the afternoon, which I’m learning is a less crowded time because everyone else had to go home to take a nap. I don’t have to struggle with my older kids to stay quiet, nor do I have to listen to them whine about being bored (they still do that of course–just not during naptime). And if my son falls asleep in the car, there is no need to wake him because there is no naptime to mess up.
