The Mid-South's Premier Parenting Resource

Depression; so depressing.

Today was rough.

I mean dark dark dark.

We came home from a trip and I felt it creeping in on Monday. Blew it off as “tired” from too much fun in the Texas heat — but Tuesday morning it was there still.

Tuesday evening a friend said I seemed “on edge.” Just off.

This morning it was still there. And by the afternoon I said forget it, closed the curtains in my room, and gave in to the pull of my bed. The second I laid my head on my pillow I felt like a quitter. Like a fighter who had given up and allowed her opponent to just beat the daylights out of her.

Like a failure.

I had been doing so well to not give in to the everyday tug at my mind to go dark. Every. Single. Day. It's exhausting.

I drifted off to sleep, but that never helps because it’s still there when I wake up. Lying there waiting on the only human who is able to coax me out of this mess, I heard my mind tell me:

“You’re such a loser. Look at you. Lying in bed in your pajamas at 5 in the afternoon. You’ve wasted 3 days like this. Your kids know you’re messed up in the head. Your kids know their mom is worthless.”

And then I heard the keys in the door. In a way that he hasn’t had to do in a while, my husband Jeremy persuaded me out of bed and gave me a job: chop fruit to go with the dinner he was cooking. When I came out of my room, my daughter Kate handed me a sweet gift. She had collected things from her room that are pink — my favorite color. I hugged her like I hadn't in a long time. And cried tears of relief.

Depression doesn’t always look like it did today for me. Most days it’s me going about my business, just a little “off.” But today it kicked my tail and I let it.

Tomorrow I refuse. #ichoosejoy

More Great Articles

{MMB Thankful Series} :: When Turning Out the Lights Isn’t Enough
Throughout the month of November and in preparation for Thanksgiving, we are sharing the things that we are thankful for as mothers. We're calling this our "Thankful Series." Our contributor Amanda Parks is mother to 9-month-old Madison, and has several things she just couldn't live without as a first-time mom. As a new mother, I'm […]
It’s Time :: Moms, Let’s Do Better
I have a serious question. (This rarely happens. *wink*) When did it become okay to be late? Maybe I’m old-school or am just imagining it (I’m not.), but it seems these days it’s becoming more and more typical for people to casually stroll into meetings 10-15 minutes late, blow off dinner plans for an hour […]
Veterans Day and Our Kids
My first memories of celebrating Veterans Day are from elementary school. In my tiny hometown of Bruceton, TN, we had an awesome celebration each year to honor veterans in the area. Since our school had kindergarten through 12th grade in the same building, the entire school attended the program. I have such fond memories of the Veterans of […]


Memphis Moms is the Mid-South's premier parenting resource.

Encouraging + Equipping + Empowering moms

We strive to build community by connecting area families to relevant resources, local businesses, digital guides, can’t-miss happenings, and most of all — each other!