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Mama, Stop Being a Martyr; Accept Help!

Mama, it’s time to stop being a martyr. Seriously. Accept help. Ask for help when you need it. I know that society and history have ingrained in us that we have to do it all, take it all without complaint, and fix it all.

But it’s time to change that narrative!

If there’s one thing that has happened over the past few years, it’s that we as moms and women are realizing that we aren’t alone in our overwhelm. We aren’t alone in the land of overstimulation and exhaustion. So why do we still feel so guilty accepting help and asking for it from our fellow moms? Especially when we know they understand exactly what we are going through? 

As a mom who is really working hard to both ask for and accept help, it makes me crazy when I see fellow moms that obviously need something flat out refuse to accept help with it. Why? Do you think the person just offering to be nice and is not sincere? Do you feel like you’ll “owe” them down the road? Do you feel like you are obligated to power through and deal?

mom holding a sign that says help

The scenario that makes me the most upset is times of true need, like having sick family members, being down a vehicle, having no electricity, etc. Just let someone drop off a meal or take a kid to school! Tell them you don’t have the energy to talk, and I promise they will be more than happy to porch drop food or beep the horn so you can send your kiddo out the door. If you don’t have power for a few days, for the love of all things please bring your stinky self over and use all the hot water to take a shower. IT’S OK! Accept help. 

Truly supporting each other as moms means both offering and accepting help when we need it. Think of it from the viewpoint of the person offering. It’s pretty uncomfortable when a person clearly in need declines your assistance. Ouch.  

I feel like any fellow mom who is willing to offer help means it sincerely. And I also know that while it’s hard to break through that ingrained need to be the martyr, it feels really good when you do! So be brave mama, start somewhere you’re comfortable, and let’s truly support one another! 

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